Success is a Trap (Here’s Why)

If you’ve invested most of your time, money, and energy into a single business or career path – you may face the harrowing possibility of ‘success failure’.

Where everything you’ve done so far – and all the success you’ve achieved – doesn’t actually result in genuine happiness and fulfillment.

How will you know if you’re on the correct path right now? Is there a way to ensure that your goals in life are truly worth pursuing?

These questions plagued one small business owner (let’s call her Kate Johnson), who had learned the ropes through her father, Benedict—a lifelong advocate of the notion that hard work and determination guarantee success. Those values are good, sure, but after Kate started running her first restaurant, she wondered why she didn’t feel rewarded despite overcoming all the day-to-day struggles of being a restaurateur. 

In this article, we will share how Kate realised that her father’s measure of success had trapped her in a seemingly endless race to nowhere – and what she did to find her way back to self-actualization.

The Pitfalls of Defining Success

We’ve all been told that effective goal management requires a vivid understanding of what we want to achieve in the long-term. That imagery sets the direction and pace that our strategies should take. 

While that is sound advice, the trouble begins when we settle for the traditional concepts of success, just like Kate did.

She relied on her father’s wisdom because of his success as an entrepreneur. If it had worked well for Benedict, wouldn’t the same approach allow Kate to attain her business goals?

Not exactly.

Defining success through the perspective of others may lead to failure, disillusionment, and ultimately, hopelessness because of the following reasons:

Success is subjective

The meaning of success varies on a cultural level, so why do many people assume that it can’t change from one person to the other?

Benedict’s belief sounds familiar to those who still cling to the so-called “American dream.” Their level of success depends on taking the initiative and working as hard as possible. 

On the other hand, many people from Latin American countries (for example) value strong relationships more than material gains. They want to be surrounded by a loving family and gain more friendships along the way. 

None of these things should be taken as a rule.

Kate is not required to follow in the exact footsteps that her father had taken. She must forge her path according to what she considers as the pinnacle of her being. 

Success evolves over time

If the one thing that’s constant in the universe is change, then your definition of success can be different from how previous generations defined it. 

In the case of Kate and her father, their priorities in life can be viewed as products of their time.

Benedict started working when he was just in college. Ge continues to be proud of not taking a day off unless a terrible sickness had knocked him out. He wanted to attain financial security in an era where small businesses could flourish as long as they worked tirelessly towards their goal. 

Meanwhile, Kate has had enough time to grow and learn more about herself outside of their family business. She used to think that she would spend her days traveling and seeing the world.

However, Kate also believed that there wouldn’t be much money to be gained from her dreams. So, when the opportunity presented itself to her as a starting capital from her father, she decided to remain and start a restaurant because at least she would get to earn money to fund her trips and satisfy her adventurous spirit.  

So as you can see, we can’t simply establish our goals by looking at other people. We have to take the time to reflect on what it means for us, given where we truly want our paths to take us. 

Common misconceptions about success

When Kate had recognised the root of her problems as a business owner, she went back to basics by learning about what other mistakes she should avoid in defining her success.

Below are the five common misconceptions Kate had noticed during her study. 

Misconception #1: Only certain people can become successful 

Some people assume that they are not built for success. Others think that their station in life dictates where the rest of their story goes. There are also those who believe that success can no longer be reached in later years. 

This kind of mentality is self-defeating.

They let themselves be overpowered by their doubts and insecurities. As a result, they tend to give up easily or refuse to start at all. 

Our Advice: There is no universal formula or design to be successful. You can also choose where you want to excel—whether in your personal or professional life. Many people have found their true calling by raising a family or volunteering to help those in need. Just remember to look within for the answers rather than focus on what others aim for. 

Misconception #2: Success should be obtained all on your own

Earning success by yourself is a challenging yet highly admirable feat. Having this goal isn’t problematic, but it can lead you to failure if you make the mistake of being too ashamed or stubborn to ask for help whenever needed. 

Our Advice: Achieving success as a team is not a result of settling for a lesser peak. After all, embracing the spirit of teamwork doesn’t come naturally for many.  Business owners should also seek the help and guidance of a mentor, especially during the earlier parts of their career. We also encourage surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who can strengthen your advantages or complement your limitations. 

Misconception #3: Your plan to success must be foolproof

A lot of people tend to put successful people on pedestals. They believe the reason for their achievements is a perfect plan that has been flawlessly executed.

Because of this, experiencing setbacks or making the wrong decisions leave a more significant impact on their self-confidence. It throws them off the course and may even deter them from continuing the rest of the way. 

Our Advice: While we should be extra careful when creating our plans for success, we must not assume that everything will go well all the time. Moreover, many accomplished individuals view mistakes or bad outcomes as an opportunity to learn. They also try to make the most of the poor situation to turn it into a springboard for a better future. Adopting these habits will help you realign your perception of failure and push you to keep going despite the challenges you will face.  

Misconception #4: Timing is the key to success

Some people achieved their goals by being at the right place at the right time. But since that’s more of a random occurrence, thinking that you have to wait for the optimal timing might cause you to miss out on excellent but unexpected opportunities. 

Our Advice: Rather than relying on timing alone, we recommend focusing on developing the right skills and abilities you will need to become successful. This can be skills related to your chosen field or your ability to lead other people towards a common goal. Being prepared to take on the challenge will be much more productive than waiting for success to knock on your door.  

Misconception #5: Success is measured through earnings

Most people equate success with vast amounts of money. Media depictions and societal norms typically push this idea, too. However, there isn’t a predetermined figure for this measure. Instead of helping you stay on track with your goals, you will likely end up feeling envy of more affluent individuals or develop greedy habits that can be detrimental to your sense of fulfillment and happiness.

Our Advice: Without a doubt, money is an essential part of living. But we don’t have to make it our gauge of success. Again, we have the choice to define our life goals. Money can be a tool to achieve them, but avoid making it the main reason for your purpose in life. 

Even though Kate is still figuring out her definition of success, she has paid attention to these lessons. It isn’t too late for her to turn her life around, and she feels motivated to find out what she truly wants to achieve in life. 

If you believe you’re trapped because of your current notions of success, we hope that you will follow Kate’s example and our advice shared in this article. You can break free from the mould, work on understanding yourself on a deeper level, and cultivate the skills you’d need to reach true and eternal happiness. 

For more guidance about defining and attaining success, feel free to speak to us. We’d be more than glad to listen to your story and offer our advice to help you overcome whatever challenges you face as a business owner.